Getting out of yet another grocery store, my mouth still visibly twitched in a spasm of disgust, I take a deep breath as a feel momentarily relieved from the atrocious necessity to mix with other people – something that inevitably occurs whenever I decide to go out shopping.
The only kind of shopping I ever enjoy is the one that takes place on almost deserted premises, when the chance to bump into anyone else is slim to none, and the queue at the checkout is virtually nonexistent. Unfortunately, such peculiar astral alignment only happens once in an eon. Everyday life tends to be very different.
My complaining isn’t about the sharing of the shopping floor per se, or about the time spent waiting in line – those are mere trifles. My predicament is rather about something much more offensive to my senses, something that’s gotten so bad these days that in fact hardly anyone ever takes notice anymore. Except me, that is.
What am I talking about?
I’m talking about the fact that I cannot stand people, in any shape or form – meaning the sort of people who are ordinarily encountered these days whenever one goes about his daily business.
Quite democratically, they all seem to be equally foul to me, black or white, rich or poor, ugly or uglier – and besides, in the middle of the fit of wreath that they so often manage to arouse in me, I usually feel no urge to make subtle distinctions.
More to the point, there is no way I can quite put into words the absolute disgust the average noxious subhuman specimen elicits from me. You either are someone like me – a fairly unlikely supposition – or you’ll just never know.
The fact of the matter is that, from my particular – and apparently unique – standpoint, the bulk of todays humanity looks but a place of unrestrained degradation, that seemingly knows no bottom to its disgraceful slide towards ever lower levels of ugliness and bestiality.
In one rude but effective figure of speech I might say that humanity has today become an absolutely revolting heap of stinking crap.
Only the most deluded of optimists can still speak of people as creatures above animal level, because humans have patently long fallen way below the worst conceivable level of subhuman bestiality. And, if you ask me, things are only gonna get worse going forward, since everything in our modern society just points in that direction.
I cannot say what humanity might have looked like centuries back – not too fair from reading the authors of the past – but I can confidently report on the transformation I have witnessed within my own lifetime. What I have witnessed over the few decades I’ve inhabited the rich, spoiled and degraded West looks like a steady slide of the local populace from still vaguely human to overtly beastly.
If I were to single out the fraction of humanity that I can still fairly tolerate around me that would be a point something meagre percentage of the lot. The rest is generally as welcome to me as so many skunks.
What I find unbearably disgusting about people isn’t any one thing in particular, but pretty much everything about them. Here I’m going to sound pretentious and arrogant, no doubt, but since I don’t care in the least what anyone thinks, I’ll carry on regardless, with a full parade of the common subhuman qualities that give me so much grievance.
The way I see it, like it or not, the average human today has become a pitiful and revolting bundle of ugliness, deformity, misery and stupidity. And I’ll stop right there the very long sequence of qualifiers that would otherwise easily flow off my chest.
In the street I cannot even look at passers-by because of the sheer bestiality that’s almost invariably depicted on their faces; in the stores I have regular trouble joining the checkout line because of the veritable monstrosity of everyone waiting in line; and I just cannot believe my own senses any time I’m in a crowd, and fully realise what abysmal levels of deformity in their body and stupidity in their mind people ordinarily accept for themselves as perfectly normal.
No matter how long I’ve seen the same thing, I still cannot get used to it.
And then I hate everything about people’s lives too. In fact, I am certain that people are the fitting outcome of the sort of lives they live and of the sort of things they cram into their heads. They sit in their stupid cars all the time growing decrepit and hardly able to walk anymore; they eat and drink the most poisonous junk all day long, fattening and rotting themselves mindlessly; they recoil at the mere thought of any physical exertions in their daily life and then put up the silly show of going for the most stupid and useless mockery of a jog in the park; and finally, they regularly occupy their mind with the most vile and base concerns instead of cultivating their finer senses and elevating their spirit and intellect.
Anywhere I look, we – me and they – are alien to each other in every possible way.
This whole thing has been a source of unceasing anguish through my life, and, believe it or not, also the major issue that stands in my way. While most people worry about money, family, career and all those common issues folks worry about, thinking they the real problems, I cringe at the thought of that one single insurmountable problem that is never gonna go away – the abysmal standards of humanity around me. I may have common issues too, but I also realise that they count for nothing if the insurmountable problem cannot be solved, because that represent the true death knell to a meaningful existence among our kind – and what I know will ultimately drive me in despair to live among the bushes.
We – even I – are all highly social animals, and when the social side of our nature is in any way stifled and barred from developing and flourishing, then, sadly, our life comes to feel like only half a life. That’s the way I feel. And I don’t see a way out of it.